Sorry everybody, I know it's been months since we've posted an update, we've just been too busy watching our little girl grow! Today, Lilian Penelope is 11 months old- I can't believe I'm already planning her first birthday party! I'm sure I've said this before, but it's worth repeating- Lily is such a joy. She melts my heart and cracks me up on a daily basis.

An example of this, from just today: Lily loves to dance, and this is manifesting itself more and more in daily life. A few months ago, Lily started dancing to the music on her activity table, just bouncing when the music played. Lately she’s added some arm movements or clapping to go along with her signature bounce. Tonight Brad and I took Lily out to dinner with us, and at the end of the meal the song "Smooth" by Rob Thomas and Santana came on over the speakers in the restaurant. Lily seized the moment by bouncing in her chair and actually bobbing her head to the beat! Brad grabbed his phone and recorded it, so perhaps you'll get to share in our humor, but suffice it to say that Lily's got rhythm.

Other things Lily loves lately are her cats. Her first word outside of mama and dada was cat, which makes a lot of sense seeing that there are more cats in the house than mommies and daddies! Today she and Thomas had a very enjoyable game of peek-a-boo, though Thom was likely behind the curtain because he was hiding from her. Luckily, he's a very even-tempered animal, and puts up with Lily literally crawling all over him, sometimes without even waking up! Bean and Poe are a bit more cautious and tend to keep their space from her, but Lily still gets lots of exercise chasing them around.

Lily is an extremely active baby, and I spend most of my day chasing her around and keeping her out of trouble. One of her favorite daily activities is pulling all of the DVDs out of the shelves that she can reach, and just today she figured out how to reach the buttons on the stereo! At about 28 inches tall, her reach is ever increasing, and she doesn't hesitate to stand on her tippy-toes to get what she wants.

Brad and I are also having fun buying Lily presents for her first Hanukkah- with Lily right there of course! One advantage to this age is that we can take her to the toy store to test out the toys before we buy them. This year Lily is getting Elmo Live (which she loved at the store), a Cabbage Patch Kid, her first big Winnie the Pooh and 5 other presents- one for each night!

Lily is all but done nursing, which may be too much information for some of you, but it’s something I feel I have to touch on. Nursing Lily has been such a great experience and I’m sad that it’s almost over. These days, I know she gets most of her nutrition from bottles (I felt like my milk was decreasing, so I began supplementing months ago) and solid food, but we still have one nursing session in the morning when Lily first wakes up. It’s a gentle way for both of us to ease into being awake, and I also think it’s also nice for us to have that close moment before she crawls away to spend the day exploring.

Before I had Lily, I knew I wanted to nurse. I wondered if it would be weird or awkward. It was neither, and I honestly wish I could go on nursing her longer. I suspect it will be a while before we give up this last nursing session.
This is just one of the first reminders that she’s growing and becoming more independent. She’s a long way from being on her own, but this kind of thing just reminds you that it’s going to happen. I know one day I’ll remember laying side by side in bed feeding her and wish I could go back, while at the same time being proud at all that she has become. I already am.

Half Birthday

On July 15th, Lilian Penelope turned 6 months old! I can't believe how fast the last half of a year has gone, how big our little girl is getting, and how much she is learning.

With turning 6 months old comes another doctor's checkup, and for you all, that means more specs!

Lily is now 14 Lbs, 10 ounces and measures 26 inches long. That puts her in the 25th percentile in weight (I swear, she eats like a piglet!) but the 60th in height. For those of you out of practice with percentiles, that means Lily weighs more than 25% of other babies her age, and is longer than 60%. So apparently, she's growing up but not out...Dr. S says that she may be a peanut, but she's healthy, proportional and growing at a good pace, so no worries about her lower than average weight.

Perhaps some of the reason Lily is so skinny is the fact that she's a very active baby. She is now an expert at sitting unsupported, and is very close to getting there on her own. At the risk of being "mean" (as grandma said) we do little sit-ups with her, holding her feet for her and giving her just one hand to hold onto in order to help her learn to sit up on her own. Yesterday, as I was attempting to change her diaper, she sat up without any hands to hold on to, just me holding her feet down. She then promptly leaned over (against my body) and pushed up with her legs- almost standing with out any help. This made me wonder if one of those shots she got at Dr. Spiess's office had been exposed to Gamma rays, but her skin is still a nice creamy peach color, so I guess not.

Lily talks up a storm, cooing and singing (and drooling) to her heart's content. As exciting as it will be to be able to talk to my little girl, I know I'll miss these little noises once they've been replaced by something more coherent. Stay tuned for a post of a "conversation with Lily".

I know there are other things I've forgotten to put on here- life happens so fast now-a-days it's hard to capture it all. For now, I'm just trying to enjoy it, because as fast as the last 6 months have gone, I have a feeling the next 6 will fly by even faster.

baby ninja math.

OK, so somehow, our 22 week old baby is now 5 months old!!!

To catch everyone up, Lily had her 4th doctor's visit on May 20th, at 4 months, and is doing splendidly. She weighed in at 13 lbs, 4 ounces and is 25 inches long. Though she is a bit longer and not quite as heavy as her peers, Dr. Speiss says it's all close enough to average. She still has a bit of a petite head, but her hats fit well, so no complaints here. She also had yet another round of vaccinations, her heart breaking screams lasted only so long as the needles were in her thigh- as soon as Mommy picked her up, all was forgiven.

Our new venture this month is food. Already!!! So far, we've found out that she greatly prefers oatmeal to rice cereal, and that not even oxy-clean can save clothes from the dreaded carrot stain. She has also tried squash, a bit of apple-prune juice (poopie troubles strike again) and, this week, sweet potatoes. Give us half a second, and I'm sure you'll see some adorable "food all over everything" pictures.

In other exciting developments, our little ninja has learned how to roll over from her back to her belly- a skill that eluded mommy and daddy for a full day before I finally caught it on video, only by recording and then leaving the room.

For those that may not remember, no one witnessed Lily's first roll from her belly to her back, but I was able to coax her into roll #2 on film. Not so this time; Lily Ninja insisted upon rolling onto her belly almost EVERY TIME I left the room, but never in front of me. I even hid on the stairs and spied on her for a good 10 minutes one time! Finally, I did catch it on camera. Oddly, as soon as I caught it on video, she seemed to decide that she could now share her skill with us, and now we can barely keep her on her back.

The funny (and, to me, slightly worrisome) part is that she seems to have forgotten that she learned how to roll the other way (from her belly to her back) 2 months ago, and can get quite upset when she rolls on to her tummy and then finds herself stranded there.

Lily is also dangerously close to sitting up- she will pull herself into a sitting position by holding our fingers, and even stands up this way. She can sit up by herself for increasingly long periods of time, and does very adorable little "crunches", complete with her hands behind her head. I know it won't be long until I have a whole new set of worries!

In anycase, it really is amazing how time flies- it seems like she grows while we're watching. Next month we plan on taking her to Grandma Vickie's cottage for the 4th of July and swimming for the 1st time, so stay tuned!

Llama Llama Red Pajama

Lily has a new favorite book. It's a suspense thriller all about a baby llama and his maternal fixation. With a very Seussian control of alliteration, this Llama drama soothes our 4-month old angel to sleep.

Jess reads it to her just about every night these days, and Lily often falls asleep right when she reaches the final page. Cutest baby ever.

My 1st Mother's Day

WARNING!!! This post may not be suitable for diabetics.

I've always known my mom loved me. I never knew how much until I had my own daughter. I'm sure I'm not the first to say, but, anyone who doesn't believe in love at first sight has never had a child. The moment the doctor lay Lily on my chest- wet, warm, scared and screaming, I knew I loved her more than I'd ever be able to express. Of course, I loved her long before I ever saw her face to face.

Honestly, I feel that being celebrated myself on Mother's Day is unnecessary. Being a mom is a privilege; it is the gift. I feel like I should be giving thanks instead of vice versa, because I've been granted the honor of being a mother. So, despite the fact that I can now lay claim to the holiday, what Mother's Day is about to me remains what it has always been: my mom.

Thank you, Mom, for being strong enough to let me be my own person; to let make my own choices and mistakes. Thank you for always encouraging me to be myself, and for making sure that I always knew that if someone doesn't like me as I am, it's their loss; there are plenty of people out there who will. Thank you for loving me even when you didn't like me. Thank you, Mom, for loving me like I love Lily.

10 weeks, 3 days

Today Lilian Penelope had her 3rd check up with her pediatrician, Dr. Speiss. I'm pretty sure Lily knew what was up; from her carrier, she looked up at me with distinctively wary eyes as we walked into the office. Later, after the doctor examined her and we waited for the nurse to return with the 4 different needles she was to jab my poor baby with, Lily started crying for no apparent reason and was quite inconsolable. I swear, she knew.

So to update ya'll on the stats: Lilian is now exactly average (50th percentile) in both weight (11lbs, 4 oz) and height (23 inches). Of course, this is for a full term baby her age, and she was a week early, so, way to make up for it baby! Her head is a bit "petite", but as the doctor said, she looks proportional, so no biggie. So many babies these days have heads that are simply too big, I say.

Perhaps her delicately sized head has contributed to her "impressive" head and neck control. (The doctor's word, not mine.) At 2 and a half months, Lily has pretty complete control of her head; she can not only hold it up fine on her own but can move it around to watch and listen to things at her leisure- she's "nosy" as her doc put it. She's generally very attentive- we often get comments on how thoughtful and alert she looks when she turns to look for Mommy or Daddy when she hears our voices or follows something with her eyes (still blue.) Likewise, just today someone told me that she seriously felt like Lily was about to say something to her- the way she moves her mouth it looks like she's gonna take after Mommy in that department!

So on that note, hope everyone is well, and look forward to more head controlling, thought having, mouth moving Lily moments right here at your ONLY place for Lilian Penelope news- Lilymahler.com!

Jacuzzi

After the closing on my house a few years ago, I stopped by the former owner's new place to pick up the keys.

He gave me a tour of his new place, and we chatted along the way. When we reached the backyard, he mentioned that his daughter, who had just received a new room with new furniture, now wanted a hot tub. "Wow," I said. "Are you gonna get her one?"

He replied, "You obviously don't have a little girl."

I totally get it.

One Month

Since this is the first time I've gotten around to posting (sorry folks, but it's very hard to type with a baby suctioned onto such a very delicate area of my body!) I feel like I owe you guys some fantastically inspiring and well written account of my experiences thus far. Alas, my brain has not fully recovered from pregnancy, so you'll all have to settle for some off-the-cuff ramblings.

I always imagined what the scene would look like when I went into labor. I'd be calm, laid back, almost aloof. Brad most likely would look like he was on fast-forward, unless, of course, I went into labor in the middle of the night, in which case I would probably have to yell "Brad-it's time!" several times before it would actually register and keep him from rolling back over to go back to sleep. I spent most of my pregnancy hoping that time didn't come too soon. I was very careful never to say "I can't wait" because there was always a very real chance that she would slip out a little too early. I spent 9 months trying to keep her in, and after a minor surgery and weekly injections to that effect, imagine my surprise when I found myself being induced a week before my due date.

I went to the doctor for my weekly check-up. I felt fine, but when the nurse took my blood pressure, we knew there might be an issue. At 160/100 (120/80 is normal) I was dangerously high, and after checking my urine, was showing signs of preeclampsia. Dr. Caminiti came in, examined me, and then said "well, it may be time to have this baby." I had actually made a joke when I left work that day about going to the doctor, finding out I had dilated further, and being sent to the hospital. Ha Ha....

That night was a breeze. Technically my induction started that night when they gave me meds to make me thin out an dilate, but the only painful part that night was sharing a room with a sleep talking roommate who had to keep her urine chilled in a plastic bucket in our bathroom. The next morning they decided I was far enough along to move to the actual Labor and Delivery room (private, thank G-d.) They started giving me Pitocin at about 8am, and broke my water soon after. My Dad and Brad's Dad were hanging out the whole time, while I became more and more uncomfortable. This is where things become kinda fuzzy for me. At some point, I moved from discomfort into pain, and from that time until I got my epidural, things almost blacked out for me. I tried to go natural. I'd always kept the possibility open that I may have an epidural, but wanted to see how far I could go on my own. The problem was, the thing they don't tell you in birthing class when they tell you how to breath, how to coach and time and count, is that apparently you don't always have a strong, 1 minute long contraction.

I was lead to believe that a contraction would start, rise to a peak at mid-point, and then taper off. Then I'd get to take a "cleansing breath" and rest for 2-3 minutes. I did NOT know that instead, I'd have 7 contractions in a row, one on top of another, without my 2 minute rest. I did not know that I'd go from a 3 on the smiley face pain scale to a 10 in 30 minutes. I did not know that I'd be expected to have casual conversation with the nurse while this was happening. I also did not know that I'd already dilated to 6 by the time my doctor showed up, checked me and said "If you want an epidural, you'd better get it now."

So I did. It took the nurse anesthetist 45 minutes and about 3 stabs at my spine to place the damn thing (my labor nurse actually looked at her at one point and said "are you new?") but I felt better right away, and stayed comfortable for a few hours until, basically, I was crossing my legs waiting for Dr. Egner to get back and deliver me. When she got there, the nurse reminded her that I'd rather tear than have an episiotomy, Dr. Egner yelled "NO!" at me, and then told me to push. No pomp and circumstance, just "lets get this baby out", which was great- I love my Doctor! I pushed for 45 minutes, which didn't hurt at all. I didn't scream, grunt or cuss. I watched my baby being born in the mirror above my bed, and the doctor put wet, warm and surprisingly clean, little Lilian on my chest while Brad cut the cord. She cried right away, but quieted down as I held her and just looked around at her new world. It's true when they say: as soon as that little baby is put in your arms, you forget all about the trouble and the pain.

So, I can't believe it, but it has already been one wonderful month in the life of Lilian Penelope Mahler! Today was her 1 month check-up, and I'm happy to report all is well. (Though after receiving her 2nd vaccination, Miss Lilian may disagree!) Lily is packing on the pounds like a champ- she's up to 8 lbs, 8oz and has grown 2 inches to 21.25". That puts some of my fears to rest- apparently there IS a reason she sometimes wants to stay attached to me around the clock-she actually needs that food to grow!

So she's eating, we're actually sleeping, and though my house is a disaster and her room is still in shambles, though I didn't get to have that "oh my G-d my water just broke", 4 am "honey it's time" moment, things couldn't be better.

Getting any sleep?

"Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long!" - Audrey II

Probably the most common question I've been asked since Lily was born has been, "Are you getting any sleep?"

My answer ...
While we were in the hospital: "Yeah, I can pretty much sleep anywhere, and the fold-out chair is OK."
After a week at home: "I'm used to weird sleep schedules from my work; I can handle sleeping two hours, waking up for an hour and sleeping again. It's cumulative, it's cool."
After last night: "mmmmmrph. No."

Jess and I usually (meaning over the past two weeks of our parenthood) have had to wake Lily for her night feedings; she'd otherwise just keep on sleeping. That arrangement has made things easy on us, and has lulled us into a false sense of security.

Last night, Lily woke up at 10 p.m on her own, and refused to sleep again until 6 a.m. She just wanted to eat and eat and eat...and also to eat. Consuming was a high priority for her, as well. It went down like this: Jess fed Lily and put her down as usual. She lay there making quiet noises for a little while, escalating quickly into full-blown crying. I would get up, check/change her diaper (she had some pretty good ones, actually), and walk around rocking her, trying to soothe her to sleep. She would just cry and root, looking for Mom's diner (so to speak). I always ended up having to hand her to her increasingly bleary-eyed mother, who would feed her for another hour or so. And then it repeated, with no sleep in between. To keep ourselves going, we watched Stranger than Fiction (which I just snagged from Amazon for like $3 - totally worth it, if only for the motion graphics), Superbad, and a variety of shitty TV.

This was our first experience with the "up-all-night-with-baby" thing. It was also the longest stretch of time Lily has been awake since she's been out-utero (or is it ex-utero? you know what I'm saying). We're not sure if it was due to her being overstimulated by my family's weekend visit including her first trip to a restaurant (Biagio's in Clifton) and meeting her cousins Eli and Abi.

Maybe she wanted to see how Stranger than Fiction would end.

She pooped today!

I used to think of poop as just an opportunity for some satisfying reading time. I often enjoyed it as a comedy prop as well. Today, I celebrated it as an event as I heard it from 5 feet away: a loud, wet "splorp" in my daughter Lily's diaper. And some leaking out the back, onto her onesie.

Upon our discharge from the hospital, Jess and I had received a paper listing the conditions under which we should call the pediatrician. According to the list, Lily should be makin' fudge at least 3 times per day. This morning marked the beginning of the third day since her last dookie.

So we called the pediatrician yesterday who told us that, as long as Lily was eating, making wet diapers, and was in good spirits there's nothing to worry about.

So today she pooped, and we cheered. I guess they were right when they said my life would change with the birth of my daughter.

hehehe.. splorp.